No I didn't die..

Wow long time not talk bloggers. This was a comedy blog I had to create for a class while working on my undergrad and I am pleasantly surprised I stumbled back upon it. Although I think I'd like to change the course this blog was on and start fresh. Considering no one interacts with me on here anyways how about I make this blog just about my personal life. The good, the bad, the ugly, and of course the funny.
   

Trump Wagon

I was recently asked to read an article from The New York Times and write a response so these were my thoughts I hope you can enjoy it.

After reading the article If Trump Tweets it, is it News? I’ve decided no it is not necessarily always news. Although Trump often tweets things that are provocative and maddeningly vague I don’t think that means it is news. Unless he puts into action some of the crazy things that he is tweeting I would for the most part ignore his tweets but still keep an eye on them. One suggestion I do have is for news stations to cover their regular news then maybe at the end of the segment almost as a joke present the completely absurd tweets that he has posted throughout the week.


I wish I could give you a black and white answer, a simple yes or no, but the truth of the matter is life is gray and this is one of those situations where you have to use your common sense. For example, Trump recently tweeted about saving a thousand jobs at carrier which in my opinion is news. That is something that is factual and can be proven. On the other hand he also tweeted something about the burning of the American Flag. In this tweet he mentions maybe taking away citizenship or a year in jail, but no action was put forth with this tweet like the last one. The difference is one was news worthy while the other was not. Trump is a human with emotions too so it is very acceptable that our president elect got upset about people burning the American Flag.


To an Extent I would like to disagree with Historian Fred Kaplan. Kaplan recently tweeted, “I’m almost beginning to believe theory that Trump’s tweets are subterfuge to distract us from real scandals. It’s time to ignore his tweets.”(11 p) I’m sorry Fred Kaplan but don’t you see that Trump is taking the middle man out for us. Instead of holding press conferences so people can rearrange his words and make up crazy stories he’s going straight to the people with what he’s saying. It’s proven that he has 16.3 million twitter followers and counting. Take your head out of your ass America and learn how to think for yourself. Use your own common sense to decide if what he is tweeting is news or personal emotions. He’s giving himself straight to us instead of letting different news stations try and translate what he said in their different bias opinions.


According to the New York Times news veterans such as Chris Wallace, host of Fox News Sunday, thinks everything the president elect says is news. Aaron Blake of The Washington Post also thinks everything that Trump tweets is news. In his recently online published article he mentions, “Undergirding the idea that Trump's tweets shouldn't be big news is the theory that he's manipulating the media into focusing on small things to cover up less sexy but more important things — conflicts of interests and possible corruption, in particular.”(4 p) He believes that Trump is being very transparent with us considering most of his tweets are pretty indiscriminate. . Reality is that Trump is taking the middle man which is the media out of the equation. The media no longer needs to cover every little thing he tweets because million upon millions of Americans are already seeing and forming their own opinions on it. We don’t need bias news sources to think for us anymore.


This was a very fun and interesting topic to debate about. I had a lot of fun researching this topic. In the end I stick with my initial thought that not everything Donald Trump our President elect tweets is going to be news. Therefor not everything needs to be covered. He is changing the ideology of our country and how we consume thing through the media. Let it happen and see where it takes us. It is time for change and he is bringing it. It’s time to stop letting the media rule us America. Use your common sense and decide for yourself what you consider news.

Scary Dreams?

I'm sorry to tell you that todays post won't be so funny.  I recently experienced what I believe was a scary dream that I might have been awake for? 

I was having one of my best friends stay the night with me and we weren't telling scary stories before bed time or watching scary movies in fact I think we were in bed by 11 since we had class the next day. 

So there we were sleeping in the pitch dark which hasn't scared me since I was a child but I felt that I should mention how dark it was. I was mostly asleep or so I think? Ashia has stayed the night with me plenty of times before and she's never had issues with rolling over and hitting me in her sleep but..

Keep in mind this is just what I think happened I don't actually know if I was awake or asleep I think that's why my experience was so terrifying. Anyways so I think I'm drifting off to sleep maybe into my deeper sleep and I feel something hit my side pretty hard. Hard enough to wake me up( I think ). 

Lying there I tried to tell myself it was just Ashia rolling over but then I realized I didn't feel her roll or move at all I only felt the hit. I opened my eyes and it was pitch black so I couldn't see her at all to see how close she was or was not. I thought maybe she hit me to see if I was still awake so we could continue to chat so I continued to lay there quietly  and she never said or moved again.

As I'm laying there I'm starting to panic. Even sweating. My heart was pounding and that's when I realized I couldn't move or talk. I wanted to say her name so badly to see if she was awake. I wanted to reach over and turn on my lamp to see if she was awake. I laid there completely paralyzed with fear in the pitch black. 

It was one  of the most terrifying experiences I've ever had but I don't remember how I got myself back to sleep. I woke up the next morning thinking maybe it was a dream so I didn't mention anything to Ashia about my experience because I didn't want to freak her out. 

Beer Farts

It was a chilly Friday night when two of my close friends and I had decided to go out and have some drinks. We're were all dressed up and going around to different parties and one of my friends had a little too much to drink as did I. Thankfully the third friend stayed sober enough to drive us around. 

Anyways so we were at the last party of the night so I decided to speed up a little on the drinking because my momma didn't raise no .... well you know. I'm sad to say that when midnight rolled around I was outside on the side of my car upchucking. I did stop to think about how nice it was not to be in a small hot house surrounded by lots of sweaty people who were constantly stepping on my damn feet. 

So there I was lying in the damn grass relaxing since I had just used a ton of energy to throw up when someone ran up saying, "who's is this"? "where are you friends"? Shortly after this the sober friend found me and came running screaming, "that one's mine". She helped me into the car and told me she was going to grab our other friend and she would be back. 

Naturally I passed out waiting on them to get back and finally they were back. We started to head home when the friend who had also had a little too much to drink and I decided we needed to throw up again and that's when it happened. We both had our heads sticking out of  the car like dogs going for a ride. Her in the front seat and me in the backseat. Throwing our guts up on the inside and outside of the car and suddenly you just hear.... WOOOOMMPPP the loudest fart noise ever. I thought for sure she had shit herself! 

She continued every time she hurled she farted it was the funniest thing I've ever heard and seen in my life. She did that the hole twenty minute drive home and it was awesome. When we asked her about it the next day she had no recollection of the event.  

Shot Gunning 101

I've never met so many people who don't know how to shot gun a coke, an apple juice, you know the occasional beer. I like to shot gun different beverages when I am wanting to celebrate something or just to get my day kicked off.

One time Kara did a half way descent job or so I thought. I heard the can click when she popped the tab. I heard her chugging then suddenly I heard a choking sound. My beverage was three fourths of the way gone I couldn't stop to check on her then suddenly I heard lots of liquids hitting the ground. 

No she wasn't throwing up she just couldn't handle how fast it was coming out so she had to spit out what was in her mouth and let the rest drain on accident because she didn't know to hold the can up high.

I work with a guy who likes to try and shot gun apple juices with me. He's not very fast and i'm not sure he really gets it. We poke a hole on the lower side of the box with a knife, that's where your mouth goes. Then you use the straw to puncture the little hole that you would normally put the straw in to drink the juice. When you pop the hole it shoots the apple juice right down. You don't have to squeeze the box or anything. 

I tend to get a little disappointed in Jack because I try to help him with shot gunning the apple juice and yet he still squeezes the box and typically gets it all over himself. 

I told my friends I would hold a shot gunning 101 class one of these Saturdays just for them. You can't go to college and not know how to properly drink your libations.

OSU Homecoming

This past weekend Kara, Jackie, and I went to our very first ever OSU homecoming game. I had only previously been to one other game and it was a lot of fun. It's said that OSU has the greatest homecoming in the U.S.

They're pomping decks are massive and have so much detail put into them it's absolutely amazing. Pomping is when you get a ton of chicken wire and shove lots of colorful tissue paper into the chicken wire to make a really pretty design/ picture.

Besides walking around and seeing all of the cool decks that the sororities and fraternities spent tons of time making we also walked around the tailgates and ate lot of delicious smoked meat. Oh man I wish you knew how juicy and flavorful this meat was.

While we were stopped at one of my friends tailgate we witnessed one of the saddest but funniest things I had ever seen. Get ready for this. Sorry if you have a weak stomach! We saw a kid projectile Vomit into a trash can. Oh god, it was great. It sounded like when you pinch off a water hose then spray it into a bucket.

He informed us that he had just got done chugging a beer and his stomach was too full so he had to get rid of the extra and not even five minutes later we saw him standing there with another beer in his hand. 

The Woes of Eviction

Kara and I happen to have two apparantly not so lovely puppers. We have Phil a twenty pound silky yorkie mix and Molly a forty-five pound Australian shepherd mix. (This photo was taken this past summer Molly is a little bigger now.)

Phil has some slight separation anxiety so he tends to cry when Kara leaves and well Molly is still a puppy so she can't always control her bladder. There for we have to keep our puppies in kennels on our balcony since we live on the second floor of some condominiums.  Apparently they bark ALL day and our neighbors don't like it?

On top of that we don't like to leash our dogs because they're good nonviolent dogs who stay close to us and they simply just don't need leashing. Our neighbors apparently don't like our dogs running up to lick, jump, and greet them but a little puppy breath never hurt anyone. It's also not our fault that everyone else's dogs aren't as friendly as ours. 

Lastly they're evicting us because we don't like to pick up after our dogs poo. The dogs only go to the bathroom in our part of the yard and as far as we know there isn't any children running around. I think the poo eventually turns into some type of soil fertilizer so really we're doing them a favor letting them use our dogs poo for free. It's just inconvenient to wear something appropriate past the gate and to take a bag to pick it up then walk all the way to the dumpster. If they had a trashcan closer to the outside of my house then maybe sometimes probably only on Tuesday's would I pick up my dogs poo. So now if I go outside and I see one of my neighbors I just turn around and go back inside until they're gone.