Beer Farts

It was a chilly Friday night when two of my close friends and I had decided to go out and have some drinks. We're were all dressed up and going around to different parties and one of my friends had a little too much to drink as did I. Thankfully the third friend stayed sober enough to drive us around. 

Anyways so we were at the last party of the night so I decided to speed up a little on the drinking because my momma didn't raise no .... well you know. I'm sad to say that when midnight rolled around I was outside on the side of my car upchucking. I did stop to think about how nice it was not to be in a small hot house surrounded by lots of sweaty people who were constantly stepping on my damn feet. 

So there I was lying in the damn grass relaxing since I had just used a ton of energy to throw up when someone ran up saying, "who's is this"? "where are you friends"? Shortly after this the sober friend found me and came running screaming, "that one's mine". She helped me into the car and told me she was going to grab our other friend and she would be back. 

Naturally I passed out waiting on them to get back and finally they were back. We started to head home when the friend who had also had a little too much to drink and I decided we needed to throw up again and that's when it happened. We both had our heads sticking out of  the car like dogs going for a ride. Her in the front seat and me in the backseat. Throwing our guts up on the inside and outside of the car and suddenly you just hear.... WOOOOMMPPP the loudest fart noise ever. I thought for sure she had shit herself! 

She continued every time she hurled she farted it was the funniest thing I've ever heard and seen in my life. She did that the hole twenty minute drive home and it was awesome. When we asked her about it the next day she had no recollection of the event.  

Shot Gunning 101

I've never met so many people who don't know how to shot gun a coke, an apple juice, you know the occasional beer. I like to shot gun different beverages when I am wanting to celebrate something or just to get my day kicked off.

One time Kara did a half way descent job or so I thought. I heard the can click when she popped the tab. I heard her chugging then suddenly I heard a choking sound. My beverage was three fourths of the way gone I couldn't stop to check on her then suddenly I heard lots of liquids hitting the ground. 

No she wasn't throwing up she just couldn't handle how fast it was coming out so she had to spit out what was in her mouth and let the rest drain on accident because she didn't know to hold the can up high.

I work with a guy who likes to try and shot gun apple juices with me. He's not very fast and i'm not sure he really gets it. We poke a hole on the lower side of the box with a knife, that's where your mouth goes. Then you use the straw to puncture the little hole that you would normally put the straw in to drink the juice. When you pop the hole it shoots the apple juice right down. You don't have to squeeze the box or anything. 

I tend to get a little disappointed in Jack because I try to help him with shot gunning the apple juice and yet he still squeezes the box and typically gets it all over himself. 

I told my friends I would hold a shot gunning 101 class one of these Saturdays just for them. You can't go to college and not know how to properly drink your libations.

OSU Homecoming

This past weekend Kara, Jackie, and I went to our very first ever OSU homecoming game. I had only previously been to one other game and it was a lot of fun. It's said that OSU has the greatest homecoming in the U.S.

They're pomping decks are massive and have so much detail put into them it's absolutely amazing. Pomping is when you get a ton of chicken wire and shove lots of colorful tissue paper into the chicken wire to make a really pretty design/ picture.

Besides walking around and seeing all of the cool decks that the sororities and fraternities spent tons of time making we also walked around the tailgates and ate lot of delicious smoked meat. Oh man I wish you knew how juicy and flavorful this meat was.

While we were stopped at one of my friends tailgate we witnessed one of the saddest but funniest things I had ever seen. Get ready for this. Sorry if you have a weak stomach! We saw a kid projectile Vomit into a trash can. Oh god, it was great. It sounded like when you pinch off a water hose then spray it into a bucket.

He informed us that he had just got done chugging a beer and his stomach was too full so he had to get rid of the extra and not even five minutes later we saw him standing there with another beer in his hand. 

The Woes of Eviction

Kara and I happen to have two apparantly not so lovely puppers. We have Phil a twenty pound silky yorkie mix and Molly a forty-five pound Australian shepherd mix. (This photo was taken this past summer Molly is a little bigger now.)

Phil has some slight separation anxiety so he tends to cry when Kara leaves and well Molly is still a puppy so she can't always control her bladder. There for we have to keep our puppies in kennels on our balcony since we live on the second floor of some condominiums.  Apparently they bark ALL day and our neighbors don't like it?

On top of that we don't like to leash our dogs because they're good nonviolent dogs who stay close to us and they simply just don't need leashing. Our neighbors apparently don't like our dogs running up to lick, jump, and greet them but a little puppy breath never hurt anyone. It's also not our fault that everyone else's dogs aren't as friendly as ours. 

Lastly they're evicting us because we don't like to pick up after our dogs poo. The dogs only go to the bathroom in our part of the yard and as far as we know there isn't any children running around. I think the poo eventually turns into some type of soil fertilizer so really we're doing them a favor letting them use our dogs poo for free. It's just inconvenient to wear something appropriate past the gate and to take a bag to pick it up then walk all the way to the dumpster. If they had a trashcan closer to the outside of my house then maybe sometimes probably only on Tuesday's would I pick up my dogs poo. So now if I go outside and I see one of my neighbors I just turn around and go back inside until they're gone.